What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
10.06.2025 00:29
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
What are some creepy bestiality-promoting questions obviously asked for sexual gratification?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
So whats the point in blame.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Has anyone been tricked into having sex with a shemale? How was the experience?
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I could never make a relationship work though!
As i do to all so called friends.?
Why is Roblox so laggy it’s unplayable? My computer is fine and the internet is great.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Im still living with it.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
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I never cut or harmed myself..
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
This is soul school!.
We were not on the streets..
(And it was in our own minds.)
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I don,t even have a pension.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
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On the 31st of Jan this month .
I have no regrets .
And i lived it daily.
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My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
If you could go back and rewrite the Legend of Korra, what would you change, and why?
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I was seconnd youngest,
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I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
She married twice! .
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I said to her
But, we were locked up after school.
But it wasn’t much.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I waited trembling.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I was 9 years of age.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Who then, do I blame.?
She wouldn,t have been !
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I couldn’t, believe it.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
One cannot live in the past .
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I will be 64.
I think the readers, may guess!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
When she asked me how she looked .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
So, i spoilt her more .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
My family never makes their pension either.
Would this be the day?
He knew the spot.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Put me off passion for life!!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
She loved him until the end.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Especially a lifetime of it.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He resisted the act ,that day.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I was very sick at this time too.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Ive learnt so much.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
She found it foreign!.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
My life is so biszare .
What did i know ?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Was to survive, this bastard.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
It was going to be , some day.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I write beautiful poetry .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
All the time i was locked up.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But ive been too sick for many years..
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Comes on , in middle age.
We all went to grammer schools
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I was scared of men, in general
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She was in good health!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..